IT’S UNBELIEVABLE
AND…IT’S TRULY HAPPENING

WARNING:  THIS MESSAGE CONTAINS PHOTOS THAT MIGHT BE DISTURBING TO SOME PEOPLE.

Once again, while visiting the hospitals we confronted things that we still have a hard time believing.  A 10-year-old girl was living with her uncle and his wife.  Why she was not living with her own parents was not exactly clear and we still don’t know.  Was it a divorce, a death or have they simply split up? For now the only thing we do know is that she had been living with that uncle since she was about 3. His first wife left and he remarried about three or four years ago. His new wife was apparently not very fond of her new husband’s niece.

The story of this little girl is similar to that of Aurore in Quebec.  We cannot even begin to imagine what she has endured, but the latest episode was absolutely horrible. Once the stepmother finished torturing her with a burning knife, she told her to go to the nearby shop to buy flour.  The child tried, but collapsed in the middle of the street where neighbours discovered her and were compelled to call the police.  The child was admitted to Secetoure Hospital where  Doctor Malulu works.  As I mentioned last week, Dr. Malulu collaborates with the Karibu Foundation and so he alerted us to this case.

It is very difficult to comprehend what leads people to commit such incredible acts of violence. With every additional case we encounter, our conviction that a Centre like ours is of great need here in Mwanza is re-enforced once again; our determination and will to see this project through grows even stronger.  Abuse is now so common here that it has become part of the culture.  There is too much violent impulses inside people.  To pinpoint the one reason why this situation exists is simply impossible.  As mentioned previously, poverty & lack of education are major factors.  But it’s also a combination of circumstances that have spread over a long period of time and it’s part of the mentality.  I sometimes wish I could walk in their shoes for a while so I could better understand – maybe then we’d be a step ahead in finding solutions to all this behaviour.

I leave you with a few pictures of this last case hoping it will touch you as much as it touched us and so re-enforce your commitment to our mission which is to Eliminate All Domestic Child Torturing/Abuse.  I implore you to talk to your friends about the Karibu Foundation and the children we are helping, as well as those we are trying to reach. Although you cannot join me physically, please join me in making a difference by sending your contribution today!

We call upon your generosity in a different manner than other foundations.  We are calling upon you for a limited time only, because we are working toward making the Centre in Mwanza self-sufficient.  My personal goal is to ensure we do not have to keep relying on external donations within about 5 years.  It is our firm conviction that in the long-term, this problem must be resolved within Tanzanian borders.  What we do need right now – in a short- to medium time frame – is to implement the structures, train a competent team and work at having this whole project self-reliant.  After that is accomplished and sustainable,  we will choose another part of the world where children are also in great need and we will launch another mission.

Thank you all for your participation.  Your comments are welcome.

Donations  http://fondationkaribu.com/dons.asp?page=dons&lang=EN

Manon Fleury

A SAFE AND LOVING HOME FOR EVERY CHILD IS NOT A DREAM… IT IS OUR GOAL!

NO PLACE FOR THE ME, MYSELF AND I SYNDROME

We heard on the radio and read in the newspapers that a little 7-year-old boy had been severely burned by his mother.  He had been admitted to the Secetoure Hospital where Dr. Malulu, who is involved in our Centre, works in the children’s ward.  Dr. Malulu tells us that although the mother seems to be repenting, she never really admitted her wrongdoing but that the boy had told him in confidence that he couldn’t say what had really happened because:

He was afraid that if he spoke the truth, his mother would be put in prison
His mother was the sole family provider
His father had already left them and they didn’t know where he was
He has two other siblings at home to think about
He said that there would be no one left to feed them
He also couldn’t figure out how he’d manage to feed his mother in prison
He was scared that she’d die and they’d be left with no parents at all

Even the hospital’s staff openly told us that they had been against the idea of calling the Police in this particular case because they felt that the mother was repenting and “Who would be left to feed the 3 kids?” they asked us.

That is exactly the reason why a Centre like the one supported by the Karibu Foundation is so vital.  We believe in helping the children AND their families. We believe in starting a movement, where every citizen stands up, protects and offers aid to the helpless. Through the services we provide, the parents can be helped before their anger becomes criminal, before they act out and cause harm, cripple or even kill their own.

Years back, when we started standing up to protect and defend children in our country, we were initially satisfied to identity the guilty, bring them to justice and have them sentenced to jail.  We were taking a stand and setting an example but at some point, we realized that jail was not always the best solution and that in fact, some parents who abuse their children were also in serious need of help. The initial stage of needing/wanting to put every parent/care taker who who abused their children in jail is precisely what Karibu Foundation is trying to avoid here. Since it took us about 75 years to determine that jail is not always the answer or most ideal solution, there is certainly something to be learned from past experiences. If our aim is to establish structures to eliminate Domestic child abuse, torture and mistreatment, it seems logical to me that we do so by keeping in mind what other countries have learned through their own process of establishing those same types of structures.  I admit that sometimes there is no other way and that jail is necessary but isn’t it also true that often jail isn’t the solution?

A few years ago, I would never have imagined that I’d be capable of writing such a statement, so believe me, I really do understand if some of you are reluctant to consider what I’m saying – some might even be shocked… but let me say that after having lived here in Africa for about 3 years now, certain of my strong convictions and beliefs have been put to the test, abandoned and replaced with a different view of things.

I have come to realize that among all of the diseases that exist here in Tanzania, the worst one of them all, the one that destroys, harms and affects so many of its people, is the Disease of poverty.  I have come to understand that poverty in itself can also be a disease which makes people do things they never thought themselves capable of doing.

So here is a photo of little Richard Musa, only seven years of age, lying in a hospital bed with both of his arms, chest, chin and lip burned to the point where proper healing has become doubtful, and despite all that he’s already putting the survival of his siblings first. There’s just no place for the Me, Myself and I syndrome here in Mwanza.  That is just one of the reasons why I am so committed to helping them and why I am determined to keep bringing you real life stories about my experiences here, so you continue sending your precious donations and encourage the people you know to do the same, so together we can keep Karibu Foundation alive out here and eventually

WE ARE RIGHT…
WE ARE ALWAYS RIGHT!

It’s been raining for two whole days now. The sky is filled with dark clouds and the wind is blowing like crazy in all directions. God I love the rainy season!  All in nature is so much greener and we constantly have the privilege of being entertained by the wind’s songs, the dancing of the leaves.  Here in Mwanza, the dust doesn’t invade us anymore.  It is almost as if the entire city is vigourously being cleansed.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved rainy/windy days. Have you ever noticed how everyone seems to slow down a notch on those days?  People drive slower and seem more tolerant; we open doors more easily for people, helping them in and we’re even more understanding if people are late and /or even cancel appointments. Have you ever noticed how our “to do” list also diminishes quite a bit?   It is as if the things that seemed to be urgent can all of a sudden wait until tomorrow. I always observed how people take the time to live more on rainy days (this also applies for stormy winter days). We stay in bed a bit longer, some people stay in bed all day!  We often stretch our lunch hour and we shorten our working day. There’s more family time together, most probably because everyone’s inside.

For me, rainy days seem to give me the permission to slow down the pace  and relax a little without having that constant nagging feeling of having to be more & more productive.  I personally even find it easier to breathe on rainy days which makes jogging so much more enjoyable.

Now, that’s one way of looking at rainy days.  But I don’t know, maybe you’re one of those people who see rainy days differently? I’ve also heard different versions on the matter, such as the fact that there are more road accidents during rainy days, statistically the productivity of employees declines, most women don’t feel pretty on rainy days because of what it does to their hair, people are impatient and they’re all racing for the closest parking space, more cold medicine is bought following rainy days, school absenteeism increases etc. etc.

I don’t know about you, but I definitely prefer the first version.  That’s what’s so fascinating about life.  Each one of us can look at things differently any which way we chose to.  We can focus our thoughts on whatever we want.  We can like or dislike rain, we can choose to focus on our partner’s weaknesses or on his strengths, we can criticize a situation or we can praise it, we can love or we can hate snow. And the most important part is that whatever we think, we’ll always be right about it!   And, there is another side on every coin.  Because we’re right, we’ll always get more of that which we are focusing on.  Whatever and however we think, we’re always right, we’re always absolutely right!

So here is an invitation to myself and all of you to take up the challenge of observing just for this coming week, the kind of thoughts invade our minds and what exactly we have a tendency of focusing on?  We might be surprised at what is automatically going on in our head. Maybe if we take the time to really observe how we actually think, we just might discover why these things we don’t want keep popping up in our lives, keep showing up again and again.  We just might decide to alter our thoughts and focus on something different.  Because after all, we’re right, in whatever and however we choose to think… so why not choose thoughts that help us get where we aspire to be, and get what we really desire, rather than where we are afraid of being or going?
Wishing you all the first version RAINY week!

Manon Fleury

WE ARE FINALLY STARTING TO SEE ENCOURAGING RESULTS

Here in the city of Mwanza, the period right after Christmas and the New Year feels like  September in Canada, because January is when school starts.  Two of the girls we took care of at the Center have started first grade!  And we gave another community workshop designed to create awareness about children, family and child rearing practices.

Ester, the 9-year-old girl we welcomed on December 3rd 2009, was enrolled right away in a school close to our Centre.  She is already a few years behind because of all the moving around and hardships she has been through.  School will help build self-esteem and the opportunity to mingle with more kids will enhance her social skills as well. We’ve enrolled her in Grade 1 and we will be working closely with her, so she can soon move up to 2nd grade.  She is smart, she loves school and looks great in her school uniform.

Katarina who is almost 7 years-old attended kindergarten five mornings a week during her 11-month stay at the Centre.  She learned how to hold a pencil, how to count, the alphabet, and most importantly, she got a chance to practice and develop her social skills because she was in a class with about 30 other children.  Katarina is very excited to have started first grade! She is so proud and looks very smart in her school uniform carrying her school bag, brand new crayons and copy books.  She has to walk 1.5 km to go to school and again to return home, but she says that it isn’t far because she walks with her new little friends, and she loves her new socks and shoes! (children usually never wear socks because they pretty much walk around bare feet or wearing plastic sandals).   She says that the socks and closed shoes help her walk faster…

On January16th the Centre organized a full-day Workshop for Katarina’s new family and all of her surrounding neighbours on the following topics:

Consequences for children when they witness their parents quarrelling
Respect & authority vs abuse and power
General child upbringing – child psychology
Different stages for different ages
Methods of punishment other than corporal punishment
Positive re-enforcement
Quality time vs quantity time

In order to maintain the effectiveness of the  workshop, the parents agreed to meet regularly (once a week or once every two weeks) in order to share how things are going with respect to these new methods and ways of doing.  We will be meeting with them once a month. They have also all agreed to take a stand if they are made aware that a child is being abused; either by going to see for themselves, calling their Street Leaders, calling the police or calling us at the Centre.  The Karibu Foundation’s intention is to create a movement where every citizen who is made aware of the domestic abuse of the children is encouraged to break the silence by deciding for themselves to engage in protecting the children.

That same evening, Katarina and Ngolo stayed behind when the team returned to the Centre.  They had been well informed prior to this workshop that they would be staying with their own at the end of the day.  The ambiance we left them in certainly helped them bridge their homecoming and Katarina had something to look forward to as she was starting school.  They will be returning to the Centre for the weekends to continue a healthy re-integration but then their visits to the Centre will gradually decrease and eventually we will be visiting them in their environment rather than the other way around.

Things are really moving forward now and it’s very encouraging. AND WE NEED YOUR PARTICIPATION TOO!   Now that we have six children under our care at the Center, it is so crucial to keep up the momentum, help them heal and recover from the trauma they have suffered.   There are so many expenses to cover that are not being subsidized by any government:  food, medication, hospital visits, clothing, bedding, transportation and school supplies. Please go to our website www.fondationkaribu.com and give generously.  You can take pride in the knowledge that you are contributing to a child’s life and providing her with a chance at having a brighter future.

With your help, one more child can be given a chance to thrive.  THANK YOU!

Manon

We welcomed 2010 with a bang.  We knew that at some point our work would bear fruit when we were able to identify the abused children.  We now need to make more bunk beds because we are out of beds for new children arriving at the Rescue Centre.  We are dealing with extreme cases of torture/abuse that are occurring within the families and so they are being referred to us by the police, hospital, social welfare or Street Leaders.

On December 25th, a man decided to blow the whistle on the abuse that was going on next door on the little 4-year-old neighbour.  On Christmas eve, while so many children were unwrapping their gifts, Lightness was cruelly being punished and was getting burned in the area of her private parts because she had wet her bed once again.

“Ukipigakelele, nitakuuwa”, her mother told her (if you make any noise, I will kill you).

Because she was forced to endure this torturing in silence, her neighbours were not aware of the nightmare she was going through just 10 feet away.  The following Christmas morning, Lightness didn’t come out of the house.  Her little friends came to get her but were told that she was still sleeping, which was quite unusual at 10 o’clock in the morning… so unusual that the mother, afraid of raising suspicions, put on Lightness’ nicest dress, braided her short hair and forced her to go outside a bit.  Because she seemed to be walking with a lot of difficulty, the neighbours were compelled to look under her dress.  In total shock at what they saw, they called their Street Leader (a very good friend of ours) who then contacted us.   As you can imagine, this is when all of the legal procedures began : the police was called, the mother was arrested and the child was hospitalized.

Since there are doctors close to our Centre, we were rapidly able to bring Lightness back with us to the Centre, which is a much better environment in which she can heal.  Doctors taught me how to clean Lightness’ wounds twice a day and they regularly came to visit in order to make sure she was healing properly.

I am amazed at how strong children are.  Obviously it wasn’t the first time this abuse was  inflicted on Lightness.  Her whole body was covered with significant scarring, the sight of which can make anyone cry.  How she managed to survive until now is simply a miracle.  She was incapable of shedding tears, she was filled with anger, she often hit the other children and tried to destroy things, but after a short week and a lot of tenderness, love and caring (TLC), we started to see some progress.  Underneath all this pain she is a very gentle and warm little girl who has already learned, at the tender age of 4, not to trust people and protect herself at all cost.  Even if hope is frail, we can see that it is quite hard to destroy.  Her heart and body have badly been bruised but amazingly enough not yet broken.  Her flame might still be small but she is definitely filled with a willingness and eagerness to heal and grow strong again. How amazing is that?

I am wishing you all a very Strong Inner Flame for this New Year.  Let’s simply remember Lightness, letting her become an inspiration for each of us when times get harder.  Keeping our flame (hope) alive will enable us all to go on.

Manon Fleury

A SAFE AND LOVING HOME FOR EVERY CHILD IS NOT A DREAM… IT’S OUR GOAL.